Chances are you have - if you are a parent... or if you have a parent; if you have a spouse or partner... or an ex; if you have co-workers or a boss... or volunteer with others; if you have friends, neighbors, or drive on the highway. Face it, if you’re alive on Planet Earth, there’s somebody or something that triggers you to ask “Why me?!”

But do you know the answer to that question?

"Just lucky, I guess."

Admittedly, I have lived a very blessed and charmed existence. Sometimes I worry that my good fortune won’t last and something awful awaits. Sometimes I think I must have been very, very good in a past life. But whenever I find myself saying “Why me?!” I can usually quickly find an answer to justify "Just lucky, I guess."

This usually applies to those petty little annoyances that crop up in daily life. The daughter leaves her dishes next to the sink to dry into a hard crust instead of putting them into the sink with water, or heaven forbid, actually INTO the dishwasher! I come out to cook dinner, and first I have to clean up the sink. "Why me?!" Because I’m lucky enough to have a beautiful daughter and a loving family, and a sink with running water and a dishwasher, and plates to be washed and food to be washed off them, and the glowing good health to be able to stand there and do this little task... and... and... and...

You get the picture... when you focus on your blessings, you’ll find it easy to stop cursing!

Behind every situation, in every relationship, there is a blessing. Often the blessings are playing a spy game... they’ve gone "undercover" and you have to work to get past the disguise.

The road of every life has some speed-bumps and potholes. The speed-bumps are there to slow you down, while the potholes can be so big that they swallow you whole.

Because we don’t have the perspective to see the big picture, we can’t always tell how lucky we are.

This week a friend backed her car into a couple poles. Nobody was hurt; it was one of those fender-benders where you kick yourself and deplete your bank account paying the deductible. To her credit, she remained calm and philosophical. It’s only money, and there’s more of that in the world. And it could have been worse.

"Why me?!" Only God knows for sure, but there are many possibilities. Perhaps to warn her about backing up on dark nights so she wouldn’t back into a plate glass window, or god forbid, a person next time. Perhaps so she’ll be at the auto-body shop on a day where she would otherwise have been in an accident on the highway. Perhaps she’ll meet her next boyfriend while waiting in line at the bank to withdraw the money. Perhaps just to slow her down long enough to think about something else going on in her life.... just a lucky speed-bump.

Sometimes the blessings come in the form of a lesson we can learn... if we’re smart enough to see it and embrace the chance to grow. "Why me?" Because God has just given you the opportunity to stretch past your comfort zones.

When your only son announces that he’s gay, you have the chance to see past your prejudices and fears to the human being you’ve loved since the day he was born, or to find a new calling as an advocate for gay rights.

When your mother announces her marriage to a man half her age, you have the chance to see her in a new light, as a unique person instead of your parent, with her own life to live.

When your daughter leaves your digital camera out in the rain, you have the chance to practice focusing on what’s really important in your life... the things you have, or the people you love... (and to buy that new camera you wouldn’t allow yourself to buy as long as the old one was still working!)

There’s a children’s book called Could Be Worse in which a pessimistic grandfather spins fantasies about how awful every situation could get. No matter how awful, he could imagine something worse.

Thinking "Could be worse" can turn you into a surly curmudgeon... or lighten your load when you hit a really rough patch.

Life sometimes brings those really big potholes, like watching your husband die. Yet, somewhere in there is a grace or two. Perhaps a healing of hearts when a long-lost son comes home for reconciliation before Dad passes on. Perhaps the grace of deep intimacy when all the irrelevancies are stripped away. Perhaps the grace of a relief from pain. Perhaps the grace of a gentle passing when the inevitable time comes.

So far, every person on the planet will eventually face death. It’s the 900-pound gorilla in the room that nobody wants to talk about... always there, adding a little layer of fear, and you can’t get rid of it. But if we are lucky, we will may experience the grace of a gentle passing, in the company of a loved one, having experienced a life full of many graces that gave us wisdom and joy.