In The Geography of Bliss, Eric Weiner relates how Asheville seems to be a spiritual vortex that calls people to move here who are looking for a place to be happy.

Like many of his examples, we decided upon Asheville as home when three people out of three-hundred-and-fifty past charter guests recommended it when we decided to leave the U.S. Virgin Islands. It was the only place to get more than one vote! Hurricanes, financial ups-and-downs, increasing crime, a seven-year-old daughter attending a $3,000 a year Montessori school, and fourteen years of sharing our schooner with guest on vacation led to the need to find a new location, a new life.

We shared some of the same requirements mentioned by seekers in the book: temperate weather (preferably with four seasons), mountains not flatlands, water of some kind, and a good, diverse place to raise a child. We’d lived in a tropical paradise, so natural beauty had to be part of the package.

We found all of that and more when we moved here in 1991. Even though we have traveled over much of the world (as did Weiner in his search), we are always most happy to come home. We have never found a place we would rather be, or a place that feels nicer than where we live.

We are committed to Eco Cove. Wiener says this commitment helps us to be happy. It is not truly home unless you feel it is where you would want to die. To me, this is the perfect place for my golden years as well as a final resting place. I will be cremated and have my ashes scattered in the pond, as I did for my mother when she died.

Weiner feels Asheville is the happiest place in the United States, but it is on the cusp—overcrowding could ruin its small town benefits.

On the whole, Americans tend to be optimistic (two-thirds say they are), if not happy. Eighty-four percent of us think we are “pretty” happy, but resent the time we spend in traffic and making a living. However, on a world-wide scale, we are only the 23rd happiest nation. Becoming the richest nation in the world did not increase our happiness from the 1950’s levels.

“Keep on smiling. Even when you’re sad”, is the sage advice given to the author by a New York bartender named Happy. Weiner’s conclusion is that a rich and meaningful life is more important than an empty, happy one. By rich and meaningful, he means that love and relationships are the basis for a full life. He states, “Happiness is not a noun or a verb. It’s a conjunction. Connective tissue.”

Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything across Italy, India, and Indonesia by Elizabeth Gilbert relates a woman’s quest for God, love, peace, happiness, and meaning, or as the title says, EVERYTHING! Italy offers the divine food choices and insight into how nations, or even cities, perceive themselves. She tells how a city may have a word that its population perceives of as its identity: Rome is SEX, New York is ACHIEVE, Los Angeles is SUCCEED, Stockholm is CONFORM, and Naples (Italy) is FIGHT.

Individuals may also have such a word, which may change over time. When I read that, I thought “CREATE” was the word Ed and I have shared on our journey together these past 35 years. Or maybe, just LOVE. Either way, it has brought us a lot of happiness.

Human life, according to Gilbert, is the chance to find beauty and attain God-realization through choice. By disallowing the “monkey mind” that swings from unharnessed and undisciplined ideas, we can connect with who we truly are.

“The other problem with all this swinging through the vines of thought is that you are never where you are. You are always digging in the past or poking the future, bur rarely do you rest in this moment…If you’re looking for union with the divine this kind of forward/backward whirling is a problem. There’s a reason they call God a presence—because God is right here, right now. In the present is the only place to find Him, and now is the only time.”

Her words remind me of Be Here Now, the 1971 book on spirituality by Ram Dass. The lessons keep repeating.

When we are willing to let go of how we need to influence the outcome, to make things happen, and instead learn to enjoy the process and gifts we receive along the way, we can find happiness. Acceptance of the now entails living within our means. Our consumer culture tells us to buy, buy, BUY! But the high doesn’t last, especially if you’re living marginally or in debt. People who can delay gratification are happier than those who give in to impulse. Those of us who focus on what we have and are accepting of it being enough find more joy and peace than those rushing about searching for more.

We are not all created equal. Many of us have had the good fortune to be born to parents who loved us and created a life of comfort. How we react to the changes of fortune often determines our happiness. Gilbert states:

“We gallop through our lives like circus performers balancing on two speeding side-by-side horses—one foot is on the horse called “fate,” the other on the horse called “free will.” And the question you have to ask every day is—which horse is which? Which horse do I need to stop worrying about because it’s not under my control, and which do I need to steer with concentrated effort?...I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I eat and read and study. I can choose how I’m going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life—whether I will see them as curses or opportunities (and on the occasions when I can’t rise to the most optimistic viewpoint, because I’m feeling too damn sorry for myself, I can choose to keep trying to change my outlook). I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts.”

I, myself, have the hardest time with this last one!

As is evident by the title, she finds love and joy on her path. Her conclusion is that we are happiest in relationships, but with the covenant that we have to have that primary relationship with the godhead within to be able to fully appreciate love with another being.

Kathleen McGowan wrote about the benefits of being an optimist in an article in Psychology Today (March 2008) entitled, “Second Nature”:

“(Optimists) suffer less and recover quicker. They’re healthier and better liked and have stronger marriages and more fun….More than any other major personality trait, optimism is a matter of practice…It’s not relentless cheer or “positive thinking.” It has more to do with how you behave…engagement and persistence toward one’s goals…”

She finds that those of us who are willing to experience failure and to meet it with laughter discover the path to success, fulfillment and joy. Fearing failure or trying to avoid “bad” things causes us to miss out on life, and the good things. We limit our experience, thus our chance at true bliss.

She suggests we find something to be passionate about, and be willing to experiment with true mastery. When we envision expertise, and give thanks, we are on the road to making it our own, be it a skill, emotions, or happiness.

Life is a carousel of change and we are here for the ride. Make a grab for that golden ring of happiness. Find something to believe in. Keep a smile at the ready, even when it is tough going. Go for it. Stay optimistic! Accept what you have currently as perfect at this point on the path, which will change as you do. Discover your word—who you are or who you really want to be. See it, feel it, live it. Don’t be afraid to give and receive love. Find home—where your heart wants to be. Give Thanks.

Try it, and happiness will find you!

~Gabrielle Thompson and her husband Ed live in the mountains of western NC at Eco-Cove, a 117 acre wildlife sanctuary. She has a degree in Anthropology and is Coordinator of Library Services at McDowell Technical Community College. Previously she helped Ed build, sail, and charter the 75’ schooner, SATORI for 14 years in the Virgin Islands. She is a freelance writer and has written 2 unpublished novels. In Dec. 2002, one of her articles was published in Moments of Grace magazine, with an introduction by Neale Donald Walsch.

~ Gabrielle M. Thompson, 2008
© 2008 Gabrielle M. Thompson

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