"Thou Hypocrite, Will You Be My Valentine?"

A couple in their late 70s was spending a quiet evening at home. Harry, the husband, had been afraid for some time that his wife might be losing her hearing. She seemed to be increasingly unresponsive to his questions and comments.

To confirm his suspicion he conducted a simple experiment. Casually, one evening, he moved to the far end of the room behind the chair where his wife sat reading a newspaper. From there he quietly asked, “Evelyn, can you hear me?” There was nothing but silence.

He moved closer to her chair and asked again in the same soft voice, “Evelyn, can you hear me?” Still no response.

Beginning to feel quite concerned he moved closer still. From directly behind his wife’s chair he anxiously inquired once more, “Evelyn, darling, can you hear me?”

From that close proximity he finally heard his wife respond in a voice highly charged with agitation . . .”DAMMIT, HARRY, FOR THE THIRD TIME, YES!”

Now let’s not diss Harry too severely for the one-dimensional design of his hearing test. Don’t forget it was born in his heart as care and concern for his beloved, and that fills it with grace. But, you gotta admit, the story is a helpful wake up call for those times we get lost in the fantasy that the source of our problem is “out there.”

I simply pray that each of us is putting some dedicated energy into remembering where all emotional stuff truly comes from . . . one inch behind our own eyebrows!

You may well have chuckled at the outcome of Harry’s tendency to limit his search for “the problem” to stuff going on “out there” while blissfully ignoring the possibility of any personal responsibility. I sure did, I love that story. But, I must confess that along with the humor there came a pervasive sense of getting caught with my hand in the cookie jar.

How many times have I been in Harry’s shoes blaming my frustration on a brother’s refusal to operate his motor vehicle in strict compliance with the Gospel of Driving according to Chad?

And how many times have I drenched myself with the cold sweat of fear when my beloved is thirty minutes “late” and I begin attributing her tardiness to a chilling assortment of possibilities worthy of Stephen King at his scariest?

And when the prodigal one does show up do I hug her around the neck and throw a party? I wish. How many times has “Thank God, you’re home!” segued into an angry tirade because my “inconsiderate” significant other failed to accommodate my “completely reasonable” addiction to promptness and compassionate utilization of telephones? How many times? When will I ever learn?

Jesus stated very clearly that authentic liberation is blowing in the wind of a willingness to confront and examine our self-righteous tendencies to lay cause and blame on doorsteps all over town... when they truly belong on our own. Consider this from Matthew 7:3-5:

“And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.”

What a spiritual warrior He was . . . and remains to this moment! I should be so brave, so fearlesly compassionate, so willing to risk censure and lay friendship on the line in the service of the Truth that empowers us to be free. Consider how He might deliver the same challenge today . . .

Empower yourselves to truly love. Bring responsibility for the creation of all your feelings of separation home where they belong. Notice that it’s your spiritually uninformed thinking, your conditionality, your rigid, unbending demands and expectations that nail you to the cross of your indignation and resentment. Consider for a moment the wisdom of embracing the radical notion that being in love is infinitely more satisfying than being right.

Consider... the wisdom of embracing the radical notion that being in love is infinitely more satisfying than being right.

Let’s enrich this Valentine season with a grander measure of love by taking a cue from Uncle Harry and making real sure we’ve got the cotton out of our own ears before we pin a deaf rap on a neighbor.

Remember, being in love or in pain depends entirely on how clearly we hear and practice the spiritual art of touching each other gently with our minds. It’s an inside job of mental choice and emotional consequence that cuts no slack. It’s the law . . . “As you sow, so shall you reap.” and, trust me on this, praying for a crop failure is not going to lighten the karmic load of a spiritually uninformed choice. God as Creative Principle will not be mocked. ...the most loving Valentine any of us can bring to the party is the work we do on ourselves...

After all is said and done, it seems to be turning out that the most loving Valentine any of us can bring to the party is the work we do on ourselves... the Resurrecting work of getting lighter . . . of shedding beams . . . so many beams that the next time the Love Month rolls around, we’ll show up for the party light-hearted enough to kiss every frog and hug every turkey God sends our way for a healing helping of lovingkindness.

And that’s the only way they’ll know we are truly His disciples.

May the Healing power of His Unconditional Love bless your heart-mind and free you from all suffering!

Happy Valentine's Day!
--Chad

© 2003 Rev. Chad O'Shea

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