Unity Center
 2041 Old Fanning Bridge Road, Mills River NC  28759
(828) 891-8700
Email: unity(at)unitync.net

Penny Smiley - A Life of Encouraging Words

Penny Smiley was a wonderful part of our church. With her husband Denis, she led the landscaping for our new building in 2000. A friend of Penny's sent this to be read at Penny's memorial service in September, 2011.

Over 24 years ago, I moved to Bates Street, Springfield, IL. We were very happy to live in such a peaceful setting and a kid friendly neighborhood. This is where I first met Penny, as she and Denis were my next door neighbors. Because my sister has the same name "Penny" and I didn't want to confuse the kids, we soon started calling her "Neighbor Penny." I soon realized that Neighbor Penny was truly dedicated to her work at home and her graphic design business. I was in complete awe of her work. She never settled for anything but her best. Her work ethic was something that you just don't see in others... she was amazing! Penny also shared her talents for non-profit agencies that needed her work, such as Springfield's newly established Crisis Childcare Center. Although she was working 16 hour days, she always had time to help others.

Eight months after we moved to Bates Street, I found myself in crisis. My husband abandoned me and my two boys while I was pregnant. Penny was instrumental in keeping me sane while I was living through a very crazy time. I credit Penny with boosting my self confidence to allow myself to attend college and become a teacher. In all my life, I never had anyone tell me I was good at anything, let alone encourage me to attempt college. Penny pointed out some positive qualities in me that I never saw before and helped develop my self-confidence.

When I was completing my last few years of college, she would always say "you can do it... you got a lot going for you... don't stop... keep going" and "work hard, work hard, and work even harder", and I knew she meant these words.

With my husband's abandonment during the pregnancy, I found myself in need of a Labor Coach. I could think of no one better than Penny. I knew she would encourage and help me during this time. From the depression of the abandonment, and the stress of starting college, I was sure the labor and delivery would be awful, but it was just the opposite. Penny massaged my head and back all night and this was truly a very, very easy delivery... which would have not happened if not for the positive energy of Penny! She also took the first pictures of my new daughter that day... pictures that still make me cry.

Another aspect of Penny's life is her ability to share personal stories to encourage and help. One such time was when my oldest son, Nick, was diagnosed with a severe learning disorder and placed in special education class. Nick couldn't read yet at 2nd grade, was held back one year, and attended summer school every year it was offered. All his teachers told me that he was very "low" and he struggled a lot. I shared my sad news with her and cried that I felt his life was destined for little hope. Penny smiled then laughed! She shared her story of how teachers in her school told her parents she was "retarded" and needed special help, and that she wouldn't amount to anything. We both laughed because that certainly isn't true... nope, not "neighbor Penny" who works 16 hour days and has clients calling her. She was once again encouraging me, to look for my son's strengths and not accept a test score as a reflection of his possibilities.

That discussion was one of the most important discussions I have ever had as I decided she was 110% right! From that point, I didn't let his IQ scores and achievement test results change my hopes for his bright future. I started encouraging my son the way Penny encouraged me to go to college. I had long talks with him about his strengths and encouraged him to "teach himself" and to "work hard, work hard, and work even harder"... like Neighbor Penny! I am proud to say my son, Nick Lister, is finishing his Ph.D. in Mechanical Engineering at Univ. of Tennessee Space Institute. He actually is -- a rocket scientist! If not for the insight, guidance and love from Penny, this may have not been possible! My two other children also graduated from college. Natalie is now in graduate school working on a school psychology degree. Nate finished a degree in law enforcement.

Now as a kindergarten teacher, I attend many, many meetings with parents, psychologist, and social workers. Some of these meetings give IQ scores and test results that are not encouraging... and when it happens, I ask the parents to come to my room after the meeting. I share my son's story... and then ask them as Penny asked me, "What are your child's strengths?" and "What are the positive possibilities?" I encourage them to not accept test scores as a reflection of that possibility... but rather to build up their child's strengths and have their child work hard.

Penny's words of wisdom live in me daily and I now share them with others. Penny never taught me in school, but was without a doubt my best & most loved teacher!!

Penny was a person who had a gift of giving compassion, wisdom, and love which now is part of me.... which I have given to my children who one day will pass it on to their children....and so on..... and it all began with Neighbor Penny...

Sincerely,
Ms. Lisa Lister, Hillsboro, IL