Unity Center
 2041 Old Fanning Bridge Road, Mills River NC  28759
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Email: unity(at)unitync.net

Valentine Moment of Clarity

"Another Valentines Day," I thought as I woke up this morning. I was not looking forward to another one alone. My wife was killed by a man several years ago and since then, Valentine's Days have been rough.

So I thought “road trip”. I have done that many times in the past several years. I live in the Charlotte, NC area and I drive to my favorite beach only 2 ˝ hours away in Charleston, SC. I drive, sit on the beach several hours, go to my favorite restaurant, and drive home all in the same day. So with my Ipod all charged up, a nice hot cup of tea, and a full tank of gas I took off.

About half way there something told me to turn off the music and just be, so I did, and I just was. As time went on I began thinking of my life, and what an incredible life I have lived so far. They say when one is about to die your whole life flashes in front of you, and to some extent that is what happened to me.

I thought of my wonderful childhood filled with love and laughter from an amazing family. I thought of my high school and college days that were also so much fun. I thought of my travels and how I lived in Hawaii, San Diego, Chicago, and Florida. I thought of the fact that I had gotten my Ph.D. , been a university professor, an author, and a keynote speaker. I thought of how I had three TV shows and had been nominated twice for an Emmy Award and actually won the second time! I thought about my three amazing children who I adore and who adore me.

What a life!... but then it began. Three weeks after I won the Emmy my show was cancelled. My wife and I got divorced, I lost a $300,000 deal with PBS for a 15 part video series that I had already done, I lost a $20,000 ten city speaking tour with the Hardee's Corp, and finally I was sued for $5,000,000 for reporting a possible child sexual abuse report on a man to DSS.

As I was driving my head started spinning as I was remembering all of this. I then remembered how I got it together after all of that, and two years later I quit my tenured full professorship at the university to follow my dream of helping kids using my TV show and I got all the money I could beg, borrow, and steal (just teasing about the stealing part) and financed the show myself. I had hired a professional fund raiser who assured me that I would get my money back after she got corporate funding. We helped a lot of kids, but I lost every dime as we were unable to get funding. I was without a job, money, a house, and I had two kids in college.

I again made it though that, but one year later I had to declare bankruptcy. That one hurt! I kept on going and several years later I found the love of my life. We dated for two years and finally got married. Two months after we were married she out of the blue told me to get checked out at the doctors office. She had a hunch something was wrong. Was she ever right. I had what is called “a widow maker” which is 98% blockage in my left main artery. One does not have any symptoms, one just falls over dead. My wife saved my life and I had open heart surgery immediately. Since I didn’t have a heart attack my heart was healthy and ready to go.

Three years later, the woman who saved my life, the love of my life, was murdered by a man. Her body was hidden an a closet and for a month we didn’t know where she was. Once discovered, I had to get dental records to identify her body. And finally, eight weeks ago I had major back surgery.

So as I drove on to my favorite beach I felt it all coming back to me. I began feeling like a beaten puppy waiting for my master to beat me again.

Then something wonderful happened. As I looked at my past I realized all the things that had happened to me. The good, the bad, and the ugly and that is when it happened. All of a sudden I had my MOMENT OF CLARITY.

Instead of feeling like a beaten puppy, I was amazed how well I had done though off of this. I realized that I had walked barefoot through hell. I had gone through the dark night of the soul and come out with my heart still open to love, my sense of humor intact, and with the sparkle still in my eyes. The beaten puppy feelings were replace with a strange and wonderful feeling of confidence, of strength, and even gratitude for the experiences for they brought me to this magical experience of clarity.

I began looking through the lenses of the divine instead of the lenses of fear.

I saw myself as an magnificent spirit who had just had an magnificent series of experiences that transformed me from the fearful caterpillar to the radiant butterfly.

I was filled with confidence, strength, and a peace filled feeling that I had never experience.

I am not sharing this with you to brag about what I have done. That would be asking my master for more beatings, and to be honest, I have had enough of that, but I am sharing this with you to let you know that no matter what you are going through, no matter who you are, and no matter what you have or haven’t done in the past that this MOMENT OF CLARITY is yours to have as well.

You can pray for whatever you want, you can do whatever you want, but I would ask that you try to merely open your heart to your MOMENT OF CLARITY and know that it is possible for you as well. That is my wish for you, that is my hope for you, and that is my dream for you.

May you experience this MOMENT OF CLARITY and see your world for what it is, and not what you are afraid it might be. 

Skywalker lives near Charlotte where he celebrates life in many ways, including increasing his vertical leap for when he can rejoin his volleyball team.

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