The Joy of Giving

Much has been circulating lately about the materialism of Christmas. What is this thing called Christmas spirit? And why is it so tied in with gifts? And what does that have to do with Jesus’ birth?

Some folks are complaining about retailers advertising for the "Holidays" instead of "Christmas." Personally I believe that being inclusive and respectful of others’ spiritual paths is very much in keeping with the teachings of Jesus. And unless you are Catholic, I don’t see why you’d insist on calling it the Christ Mass. The word "holiday" is a contraction of "holy-day," so every time you hear "Happy Holidays," try using it as a reminder to yourself to think of Christmas as a holy day.

Many folks find it difficult to get into the Christmas spirit while surrounded by so much materialism.

A couple years ago at Asheville’s Bele Chere festival, I overheard someone saying to her companion, "Shopping just isn’t as much fun now that we don’t need anything." It struck me funny at the time, but boy! Can I relate! When you are blessed with a large quantity of "things," each thing can become less special, less cherished.

After many years of the habit of acquiring and accumulating, I am now reaching the stage of life where I am beginning to lighten up. Born a natural pack rat and the child of Depression-era parents, the process of releasing does not come easy to me. Every thing is so darn precious…. Either I liked it enough to spend my "hard-earned money" to buy it in the first place, or it would be wasteful to throw it out (Recycler’s Rigor Mortis), or "I might get back to that size again some day" (Dieter’s Denial), or it reminds me that someone cared enough to give it to me. "Oh, I can’t get rid of that candleholder, even though it’s rusted and I never liked it much, ‘cause Aunt Helen, God rest her soul, gave it to us for our wedding… and it’s the last time I ever saw her." So I’ll dust it for another ten years. Sigh.

But some days I feel I am drowning in abundance - too much to take care of…. too much to dust… no more closet space… no more wall space to hang anything new. The obvious answer is to let go.

The other answer is to stop bringing more stuff into my life. Katie says we have A.D.O.P. – Attention Deficit "Ooh Pretty!" We just like too much stuff! There was a time in my youth when I was small and skinny… it was back when I was a very fussy eater. The more I learned to like food, the more the food liked me… and stuck to my hips and thighs. Deficient in fussiness, I like it all. Perhaps some people are just not made for the Spartan existence…. They have a great appetite for life, embracing everything so much that they attract abundance and accumulate accordingly.

At the same time, I have a dose of liberal guilt. When you become conscious of what other "good" you can do with money, it becomes more difficult to spend it on more "stuff," merely increasing the embarrassment of riches now surrounding you. The disciples started this…. They criticized Mary Magdalene for using expensive spices to anoint Jesus’ body, saying she should have used it to help the poor. But Jesus told them to let her be… that she was doing something worthwhile. There will always be poor people, but it’s OK to indulge in special celebrations, to cultivate joy alongside conscience.

And so we come to the idea of giving and receiving, especially at Christmas. With all the above going on in my weary brain, the once-joyful pursuit of Christmas shopping had become as grouchy as the Grinch. It’s exhausting to run around spending money I don’t have, to buy pointless "things" they’ll probably never use…. when I "should" be helping people who really need it. Yep, that attitude could melt the stripes off a candy cane.

So last Friday evening I found myself on Hendersonville’s Main Street after the Hospice tree-lighting, wandering aimlessly from gift shop to gift shop, wondering why I was there. And miraculously, I eventually got it. I felt it wash over me. I was there to bathe in the juicy experience of being with people who wanted to give.

It really IS the thought that counts. Wow! All these people were searching for some material manifestation that would express to someone else the beautiful thought that "I’m thinking about you," "I want to give to you," "I want to connect with you," and "I love you." Every gift was the result of loving attention, of taking time to think about someone else. We were each looking for a way to give our heart.

So many souls focused on giving, and taking action on that holy intention, was powerful. And I allowed myself to feel and understand the purity and sweetness of that moment.

Now it’s important to keep a sense of balance about the whole giving thing. We all know that it’s easy to get caught up in the push to over-spend and over-consume. But in the cosmic scheme, even that works out. Whatever you spend is helping other people have jobs, whether manufacturing, shipping, or selling. Shopping locally helps your community and keeps your friends and neighbors employed. And even the least politically-conscious shopping helps keep someone in a far-off country from starving. (There’s no doubt that as a society, we have work to do to make life better for everyone on the planet… but while we’re working on that…)

I am balanced when I give both to the poor and to those closest to me. I am balanced when I give both generously and within my means. I am balanced when I choose to see the grace in every face, whatever spiritual path they follow.

Christmas is the birth-celebration of Jesus, who said, "I came that my joy might remain in you." The joy of giving is a two-way street. Not only are we called to give, but Jesus also demonstrated that we should receive graciously and thankfully. We bless the giver by providing them the opportunity to experience the joy of giving. We bless ourselves by experiencing thankfulness. We bless each other by tuning into the oneness of a heart-to-heart human connection.

So I can keep Christ in Christmas by remembering that these are holy days… times to celebrate our oneness and connection to the divine and to each other… times to deeply experience the blessedness of giving and receiving… times to practice staying in balance.

And to myself, I will give the gift of feeling the joy of Christmas.

A songwriter (350+ songs) and musician (vocals, keyboards, guitar, flute, etc.), Lyte has 3 albums (Home To My Heart on CD & Cassette, and Altar of Love and Inspirations on Cassette) as well as sheet music available from Lytingale Music. She is the author of a book on reshaping & updating church music called Growing Your Church Music Program, which was presented as a workshop at a national Unity ministers' Conference and has been used in ministerial training classes at Unity Village. She is webmaster for UMMAS subregional group.